Turning
chapter-306

"Don't worry about that."

The confident tone in his voice evoked a strange, uneasy premonition.

"If I carry you, there won't be any issues."

The foreboding quickly morphed into reality. Yuder dismissed the suggestion immediately, without a hint of hesitation.

"I don't want to."

"What if I carry you on my back instead?"

"Whether you carry me or not is not the issue. I don't want to go out that badly."

"You make it sound so grave. There's no simpler way to take a walk together. You can't possibly dislike it because I suggested carrying you?"

"What are you saying...?"

Just as he was about to refute the unfounded certainty, he hesitated when he recalled the incidents that had occurred up until then. Starting from the moment Yuder clung onto him when his second gender manifested, until just yesterday when he compliantly allowed himself to be moved for meals, he tried to push these memories from his mind. Recollections of him taking the initiative to hold onto the other party also subtly emerged. It took a bit of time to come up with another reason as he tried to think beyond these.

"Inside and outside...aren't they different?"

"Different? What's different?"

His blood boiled slightly at the calm voice, feigning ignorance despite understanding his meaning. Yuder decided to drop the indirect expressions and speak directly.

"If we behave that way outside, we can't avoid drawing attention. Rumors will inevitably spread. I thought, Commander, you had always taken that into consideration..."

Yuder knew all too well what the consequences would be when such unnecessary rumors spread; he had seen it happen countless times in his previous life. Therefore, in this life, he strived not to let their relationship appear as anything more than that of a normal Commander and his assistant, seen by the public.

He did eventually succumb to the massive urges toward Kishiar, but that didn't mean he wanted to repeat the foolishness of his past. The multitude of emotions he felt for Kishiar and the potential dangers of their current situation were definitely separate issues.

He assumed Kishiar would be well aware of this too. Yet here he was, brazenly suggesting a public stroll while carrying him, fully aware others might see.

'Surely, he hasn't forgotten that we're not in our Cavalry base but in the heart of the Western Mage Union due to his overly joyous mood.'

The Cavalry members might not blink an eye at Kishiar's peculiar nature, as they were already well accustomed to it, but the mages were different. Memories from the past flooded Yuder's mind in an instant.

"Unnecessary rumors, huh... I'm surprised you think that way."

"What's so surprising?"

"I thought my assistant would be the least bothered about my status or name in this world. It's surprising to find out that's not the case."

Yuder was momentarily at a loss for words.

"...If I've seemed disrespectful until now, I apologize... but of course I know who you are, Commander, and I care more than anyone else."

"See? That's exactly the kind of response. If you were genuinely wary of me, you would never be able to answer like that."

For the second time, Yuder was speechless. Arguments formed and fell apart in his mind over and over again.

"...I believe anyone else could have given the same response."

"Is that so? If I'd said the same thing to Gakane Bolunwald or Kanna Wand, I don't think I would have received a similar answer."

"What are you trying to say, then? While I may not understand the necessity of going outside, my belief that there's no need for you, Commander, to carry me hasn't changed."

"Calm yourself. You're feverish."

After a sharp retort, he took a small breath, and a cool hand touched his cheek along with a calm voice. Yuder regretted that the pleasant atmosphere of moments ago had once again descended into silence.

Just as he hesitated and was about to speak, Kishiar began first.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to unsettle you. Perhaps I've upset you unnecessarily out of greed, thinking you were okay enough for this."

"..."

"But there's one thing I want to say."

After his fading words were cut off, the sound of Kishiar taking a slow breath could be heard.

"I don't find being with you even slightly disgraceful."

Suddenly, a sharp pain was felt inside Yuder's chest. The man who held his hand, seemingly to confirm that Yuder was still listening to him, continued speaking slowly.

"Rather, the opposite might be true. The scandalous rumor that the Duke of Peletta, who usually enjoys vulgarities, is trying to block the path of a promising young talent could circulate. And the Emperor, unable to bear it, could even give me a warning. That kind of outcome might even have a higher probability."

"What…nonsense are you speaking of?"

"It's not nonsense. You probably don't know since you've been lying down here the whole time, but stories of an amazing awakener who has shaken the entire Great Sarain Forest are currently spreading far and wide across the Empire."

There were faint laughter and unfamiliar emotions in his voice as he whispered that once this matter was over and they returned, a crowd of people, incomparable to before, would try to capture Yuder.

"Think about it. An unprecedented talent who also shines brightly with young and vibrant beauty is stuck under the Duke of Peletta. Even the Emperor would find it a pitiful story to just leave it be, thinking that such a person, who he himself would want to reward, is stuck in such a place. So, the story I just mentioned is also quite possible."

Yuder shook his head. In his previous life, he had caused enough trouble to destroy and recreate many western landscapes using his power, but no one came to recruit him. Of course, the time and outcome of the incident now were much different from then, but that didn't mean Yuder Aile's popularity would suddenly skyrocket.

And even setting aside the other fabricated parts of Kishiar's story, he had no intention of responding to whoever might try to recruit him. So all of this was meaningless from the beginning.

"That story has nothing to do with me. And, please don't speak of yourself in such a way..."

Whenever Kishiar belittled himself, he couldn't help but feel nauseous, just like before. Looking at Kishiar's tightly closed lips that smiled stubbornly, his voice was serious a moment later.

"Yuder. When all this is over and we return from the West, I plan to formally introduce you to the Emperor and Empress."

His heart pounded alarmingly for the second time, uncontrollably. A stronger force than before was put into the large hand that held Yuder's.

"What do you think I'll introduce you as?"

"..."

The assistant to the Cavalry Commander. A 20-year-old commoner Awakener.

There could be no other answer, yet Kishiar's words sounded as if there indeed was an alternative. He pulled Yuder's hand, briefly placing his lips on the fingers he held.

Startled by the heat, akin to being branded with a hot iron, Yuder stiffened. Kishiar looked at him, whispering with a conviction firmer than ever.

"You once said you could forever remain my cherished and adorable assistant and subordinate, if that's what I wished… But are you aware? The prerequisite for that statement."

"If you wish so." A sigh laden with deep longing escaped from the man's lips, uttering these words.

"My heart is already here. It was taken away so irresistibly, I have no method of retrieval - and even if I did, I wouldn't want to. …But that doesn't mean you should naturally provide the same response."

"..."

"If you are willing to accept me beyond that, the story can change drastically. If I could get that worthwhile answer, no matter how long I have to wait, it wouldn't be in vain."

If you were to sum up his words with ordinary terms, the closest might be a proposal. Kishiar, who had given a clear answer that couldn't be ignored or perceived differently, exhaled a thin breath. The weight of the warmth he offered was familiar. He was certainly recalling the moment when he thought Yuder had died in his arms. Such a certainty sunk in for no apparent reason.

Yuder clenched his invisible eyes shut. As his heart warmed, a tremendous churning stirred in his belly. Despite several deep breaths, the pain did not abate.

When Yuder said nothing, the hand that had been stroking his cheek fell away. Feeling the signs of him letting go of his hand and standing up, Yuder was engulfed in a chill coldness. His body was hot from fever, but for some reason, it felt cold inside. An intense pain and urge that couldn't be explained kept shaking his head.

He bit his lip as he heard the door opening.

"…Tonight."

At that moment, the footsteps halted abruptly. Yuder strained to find his voice.

"When the sun sets, and the moon rises… then, it will be fine."

"…"

"You don't have to come if you're tired…"

"…As if."

The quiet, yet passionate response came back.

"So when the sun sets and the moon rises, it's okay to take a walk with me?"

"…Yes."

"Then I guess I must earnestly wish for the sun to hurry and cross to the west today."

With a bright laughter, the door closed. Yuder remained motionless for quite a while, pondering what response he had blurted out.