Ultimate Scheming System
chapter-136

Chapter 136: Today, I Shall Grill Tiger Penises!

“The Tiger King is impressive!”

“After this round of Tribulation, our new King of Demons will be established!”

“Haha, looks like the Demon King will come from our Thousand Demons Tribe and conquer the entire race for the next hundred years!”

The Thousand Demons Tribe members started celebrating joyously and cheering obnoxiously.

Xu Que walked over wordlessly and stood beside the Lightning Pool. He then raised his head and looked at the Tiger King who was beginning his Tribulations.

Everyone around were stumped.

“What is this damned monkey trying to do?”

“He actually dared to stand beneath the altar? Is he sick of living?”

“He’s just a mere Golden Core Stage. Should a little lightning touch him, he would be fried to death for sure!”

“Keke! This monkey hasn’t seen enough of the world to be experienced! Look at how foolish he seems right now!”

The Thousand Demons Tribe started mocking and jeering at him.

At that moment, the Sky Demon Tribe elders jumped up in fright as they watched Xu Que. They were unsure of why he had walked over towards the altar as they shouted out towards him in panic.

“Friend Sun, please come back now!”

“You can’t be there! It’s extremely unsafe!”

“We promised our Queen to keep you safe. We can talk this over. Please come back, won’t you?”

“Don’t worry. I’m just hungry and wish to cook something for myself.” Xu Que stood just beneath the altar as he let out a helpless laugh.

The elders of Sky Demon Tribe reeled in shock, “Friend Sun, if you wish to cook something, that’s fine. But can you please cook over here instead?”

“That won’t do. There is far too few people there. It would only be interesting to cook it over here, where there’s more people. I can whip up a dish and watch the Tribulations with a good view from here!”

“…”

Everyone who heard this were left speechless.

However, nobody dared to walk over towards Xu Que and drag him back because the Tiger King above had just activated his Tribulations. If they weren’t careful and were struck by the lightning, they would be in deep trouble. Even if they didn’t die, they would be gravely injured.

The rest of the demonic humans broke out in laughter.

“Cooking something under the altar?”

“Haha! This foolish monkey really is inexperienced. He actually dares to watch the Tribulations while eating from such an unsafe position!”

“Looks like he doesn’t know of the ferocity of the Tribulations!”

“Does he think that he’s safe just because he’s under the altar? How naive! Hahaha!!!”

The sounds of laughter started getting louder such that even the Tiger King above could hear. He casted a cold look down beneath him and glanced at Xu Que before ignoring him and resuming his focus on the Tribulations.

“Boom!”

At this point, a flash of lightning followed by the roar of thunder emerged from between the thick clouds signalling the start of the Tribulations. The surrounding arcs of lightning swarmed overhead above the Tiger King and covered the area around.

“Watch! The Tribulations is getting underway!”

“Look at how formidable the Tiger King is. It’s evident that he would be our new King of Demons!”

Everyone’s attention had been captured as they started to ignore Xu Que.

At this point, Xu Que sat down as he started a fire using a pair of rocks.

“Our friend Sun, now is not the time for games. Hurry and come back!”

“I hope you’re not thinking of grilling chicken wings now? You shouldn’t do it there!”

“With the current strength of the Tiger King, he would have at least five waves of lightning for his Tribulations. Even we won’t dare to get near! Quickly come back here!”

The elders of Sky Demon Tribe were still trying to coax him back.

Xu Que waved his hands and smiled excitedly, “No, no, no. I’m not going to grill chicken wings. Having too much of that will lose my interest in it!”

“Then… What are you grilling?” The elders straightened up, realizing that the situation was getting progressively more complicated.

“Ba dum!”

All of a sudden, a loud roar echoed throughout the skies once more.

The ferocity of the thunders caused the atmosphere around to tense up as everyone held their breaths in nervousness.

At this point, Xu Que broke the silence by replying the question asked by the Sky Demon Tribe elders.

“I am grilling Tiger Penises today!”

(T/N : Tiger penises are believed by the chinese to contain healing properties)

These six words were uttered matter of factly by Xu Que.

Since it was quiet all around due to the tense atmosphere, hence, his word rang out loudly and clearly to everyone around.

They were all astonished.

Grilling tiger penises?

Fuck! Is this monkey mental? He… He actually dared to mention tiger penises in front of the Tiger King and even wanted to grill them?

“Outrageous! Where did you come from damned monkey? How dare you show such disrespect to my race?” the brother of the Tiger King, who had been whispering into his ears earlier, shouted out in rage.

At the same time, more than ten members of the Thousand Demon Tribe three angry glances over at Xu Que.

“Was I being rude? Fine. I shan’t speak anymore then. Would that be alright?” Xu Que chuckled to himself as he immediately purchased a single tiger penis from the system store and placed it on the grills. Immediately, everyone from the Thousand Demon Tribe burst out in shock.

“…” Their faces started twitching in anger.

Even the Sky Demon Tribe elders were stumped,as their faces revealed looks of dread. Xu Que had taken all of them by surprise, never imagining that Xu Que would actually start grilling a tiger penis. And he actually took out a tiger penis and started preparing to grill it.

But, even if you wanted to cook it, why did you have to be so showy and make such a big scene out of it? You even stabbed it with a grilling fork and swing it around while speaking. What were you trying to do? All the female cultivators around are so embarrassed by whatever they were seeing.

The audience were all at a loss for words as Xu Que beamed in happiness. He then coated the tiger penis with honey and started speaking out loudly.

“Fellow comrades, let me tell you, tiger penises are such wonders. The small penises of tigers have regenerative properties and can even maintain youth! The most important information is that, I’m actually holding the Tiger King’s penis in my hands! This is a rare occasion! A once in a hundred years occasion. Please don’t get overly excited yet. I shall let everyone have a taste once I’m done grilling. Everyone shall have a share!” As he finished speaking, he placed the tiger penis down on the grill once more and started slow cooking it.

Everyone then understood what he was trying to do. The Tiger King’s penis? He was clearly trying to agitate the Tiger King.

Big brother, you… Where did you get such guts from? You actually dared to grill a tiger penis and even wanted all of us to try it? Try your sister!

And you even intentionally started grilling it just under the altar. You’re clearly trying to humiliate the Tiger King!

“Hmp! You’re asking for death!” The brother of the Tiger King let out a shout of anger as he charged towards Xu Que, his face was filled with rage.

Meanwhile, the Tribulations had already begun and thus, there were no longer any restrictions preventing cultivators from using their skills. Everyone was free to conjure spells!

However, Xu Que was unable to conjure any. Should he attempt to, he would suffer the consequences and be attacked by all nine lightning pools around!

Since he couldn’t use any spells, he whipped out his Killer Blade from the inventory, which had full Glory at this point and swept it across at oncoming Tiger King’s younger brother!

“Wham!”

The Tiger King’s brother was of the Golden Core stage and yet was sent flying into the air by the ferocious and sudden strike.

“Wah!” Everyone exclaimed in shock at the scene unfolding before their eyes.

“Did I see it right? This… This monkey’s strength is terrifying!”

“He didn’t even imbue any core strength into his strike and was only using his physical strength. Yet he could send the Tiger King’s brother flying into the air!”

“That’s scary! This is the power of innate strength!”

Everyone broke out into sighs of shock.

However, since he couldn’t use any spells, he could only rely on the Full Glory Killer Blade to defend himself. Thus, the extent of damage he could do was severely limited as well.

Although the brother of the Tiger King was sent flying into the air, he only sustained a bump to the head which had swelled up rapidly. Apart from feeling slightly dizzy, he didn’t sustain any serious injury.

Thankfully for him, Xu Que didn’t use any spells in his attack. If not, this tiger would have been beaten into a mist of blood.

Still, this strike clearly angered everyone belonging to the Thousand Demon Tribe.

“How audacious! You foolish monkey! You actually dared to strike someone from my tribe!”

“Give me your life!”

Ten demonic humans started dashing over. Among them, the one with the dog’s body outran the entire bunch as he charged towards Xu Que.

He was the traitor to Sky Demon Tribe and had betrayed them for the Thousand Demons Tribe. In showing his aggression and fury, he was hoping to earn some credit and merit from the onlooking pair of tiger brothers.

“Ba doom!”

In that second, a crack of lightning whipped out from the sky and struck past the altar and missed Xu Que very narrowly.

With a loud crack, the feral dog who had almost reached Xu Que was struck by the very same lightning. He crashed to the ground and started twitching.

Although he wasn’t dead, he was struggling for breath and was close to death.

Seeing whatever just happened, the rest of them halted in their tracks and didn’t dare approach.

Xu Que watched on elatedly as he let out a roaring laughter, “Hahaha!!! The lightning really knows how to pick its target and strike the right person. It chose the human-head dog-bodied idiot who deserved it!”

“Ba doom!”

The second his last word was uttered, yet another bolt of lightning slashed across the sky.

The lightning crashed in front of Xu Que and missed his head by just inches and landed heavily onto the grill before him. This was enough to cause Xu Que to jump up in fear.

“Holy mother! Could this be the effectiveness of the +2 points from the Human Skinned Mask? The lightning came so close and still missed me.” Xu Que was started as he patted his chest. Seeing the grill before him getting struck by lightning caused his expression to turn as he shouted out in shock, “Fuck me! Tiger King, your penis exploded!”