I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell
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chapter-185
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The Addict II
Dofarming—a newly coined term short for "dopamine farming."
In the past, when civilization still thrived, it referred to internet ghosts seeking sensational videos or news, but even as the world collapsed, history advanced. In this apocalyptic era, we finally achieved true "dofarming."
“I'm... so happy...!”Sim Ah-ryeon shivered with joy.
“What... what is this happiness? I just ate a bowl of rice. I just consumed a carbohydrate-laden meal! But this happiness! This overwhelming happiness is enveloping me! Guild Master! What is this?”
“It’s a new rice variety called dopamine that will sustain the Korean Peninsula.”
“It’s so delicious! I feel like screaming in happiness, even if what I eat is plain white rice three times a day! I've been missing out on life... Do ordinary people live with this kind of happiness every day...? Without a hint of depression?”
“No. Most people probably didn't experience this level of happiness...”
Who could have predicted?
The Fourth Industrial Revolution, following the first three, was not the AI or robotics revolution, but the Agricultural Revolution. Now, every plot of land capable of farming in Korea produced dopamine. To an outsider, it looked like ordinary rice fields; they might even mistake the country for a scene from the old Joseon era.“My stomach is full and happiness follows... This is insane. This crop is insane, Guild Master...”
And it didn’t even require the richest of soils. In fact, it required much less attention than growing actual rice. With just some fertilizer and diligent planting, dopamine replicated effortlessly.
Naturally, the atmosphere on SG Net also changed drastically.
- Anonymous: Confession: I used to post malicious comments anonymously.
- Anonymous: But after a month of eating dopamine, I started to wonder why I lived like that. Finding faults in others never improved my life...
- Anonymous: I especially want to apologize to WitchJudge. I was the one who kept calling you a train-enthusiast auntie.
- Anonymous: I used to criticize you, saying that a representative Awakener of the Korean Peninsula should maintain their dignity, but I was just projecting my own unhappiness onto you.
- Anonymous: I regret my past. Will you forgive me, Witch Judge?
└[Samcheon] WitchJudge: Of course, I forgive you^^ But which city do you live in?
Even this kind of change was trivial compared to what was to come for the truly earth-shattering upheaval was to come shortly thereafter.
- OldManGoryeo: I am retiring from SG Net.
Sim Ah-ryeon announced she was quitting SG Net!
- OldManGoryeo: Busy with real life.
Sim Ah-ryeon used the term "real life"!
- OldManGoryeo: If I've hurt anyone while I was active, I apologize here. I'm sorry.
Sim Ah-ryeon apologized!
I was so shocked that my jaw dropped.
Not once in 671 cycles, not since the invention of SG Net and Sim Ah-ryeon's survival, had she ever abandoned her identity as the villain OldManGoryeo. And now, she was turning her back on the internet? Focusing solely on living as the Saintess of the North in Pyongyang? Was this even possible?
“Ah-ryeon, are you... serious?”
“Yes? Yes. Honestly, living my daily life while eating dopamine makes me much happier than posting nonsense on SG Net...”
Of course, despite saying this, the villainous OldManGoryeo returned to SG Net a week later. She left me with the memorable line: “Guild leader, I realized you can't live on happiness alone (smile).” But on the flip side, it meant she voluntarily quit SG Net for a whole week.
My jaw showed no signs of returning to its proper place.
“Is it really that astounding of a thing...?”
“Director Noh Do-hwa, live as long as I have. The sun has risen in the west many times, but Ah-ryeon has never done anything like this.”
“Being more astonished by an internet troll than celestial movements. Truly the life of a regressor...”
“By the way, Director, aren’t you eating dopamine?”
“No,” Noh Do-hwa responded indifferently, sipping the awful coffee I made while flipping through documents. “No matter how much it passes 50-year side effect tests, why would I consume such a suspicious void plant? I'm not looking to become a test subject...”
“But it's like a drug with zero side effects. It makes you incredibly happy. The statistics show that satisfaction with life is much higher now than when civilization was intact.”
“Oh. Happiness. Sweet resonance...” Noh Do-hwa sneered. “I lived without it and will continue to do so. Sure, thanks to dopamine, crime and complaints have plummeted and labor productivity has soared, reducing my workload as a director. But...”
“Hmm.”
“Regressor Undertaker. Do you think I don't know your ulterior motives? You just want to see me basking in happiness...”
“You’re mistaken.” How did she know? Did Noh Do-hwa develop mind-reading abilities too? Scary.
“By the way,” Noh Do-hwa continued, “the Magical Girl Association requested some dopamine seeds. In exchange, they'll expand farmland in Kyushu...”
“Is there a need to hesitate? Share them. In these tough times, good things should be shared.”
“Heh.” Noh Do-hwa's eyes twinkled behind her monocle. “You're not just trying to test if this miracle crop has any side effects, right? Regressor Undertaker, are you also abstaining from dopamine...?”
I remained silent on that.
It was half true.
All human civilizations ultimately strive to achieve happiness.
The minimum condition for happiness is avoiding misery, or in other words, not having one's rights infringed upon. The larger the society, the more its happiness trends towards an average. Thus, the laws of a sufficiently large society always focus on the minimum condition for happiness, preventing rights violations. The rest of its citizens’ happiness must be sought individually, drawing a clear line between 'society's happiness' from 'personal happiness.'
Achieving the vast numbers of both social and individual happiness simultaneously is humanity's ultimate goal.
‘Dopamine might be the tool that finally brings human civilization to its peak.’
It might sound absurd, but I seriously considered this possibility.
For many people, life was a struggle. Providing them with a crop that had awakening effects, fatigue recovery, productivity boosts, and hunger reduction with zero side effects could change everything. Life might no longer be suffering but, rather, a stroke of luck.
As a regressor who had lived eons, I had to consider the world beyond the eradication of anomalies.
‘If dopamine really has no side effects, the Sword Marquess will be humanity's eternal savior.’
As you might guess from listening to my story, the miracle crop that brought "happiness" to everyone didn't end with a "happy ending."
“Undertaker.”
A year later, Dang Seo-rin came to me with news.
“Not a single child was born in Busan this year.”
News of Korea's record-low birthrate—breaking the just-recently-apocalypse-minted record—wasn't surprising to anyone. However, there had never been a time when the birthrate was literally 0%. Not even during the apocalypse when anomalies took over the world.
Dang Seo-rin said that this record was set in Busan.
“...Not even one?”
“None.”
Dang Seo-rin’s tone was calm. It was a defense mechanism. The more serious the situation, the colder her voice became.
When she faltered, the entire organization could collapse. This was her characteristic.
“I didn’t believe it, so I had it checked several times,” she stated evenly. “Considering the number of residents in Busan, it seemed impossible that no newborns were registered. Perhaps they were born outside hospitals or clinics?”
“......”
“But it was confirmed. This year, not a single human was born.”
To Dang Seo-rin, I was the only person with whom she could briefly drop her cold facade.
After a moment of silence, she spoke again, overlaying objective truth with her personal sincerity.
“All the babies were stillborn.”
According to her investigation, this phenomenon occurred universally around the 8th week of pregnancy. The fetuses would simply stop growing. Their bodies would curl up and shrink, as if they wanted to leave no trace in this world.
As if every pregnancy were merely an "illusion."
“......”
“......”
I remained silent as the verbal report and written documents were delivered.
Both Dang Seo-rin and I already had a suspicion. We both understood the source of this bizarre phenomenon. We also shared the unspoken understanding that this wasn't just a problem confined to Busan.
“Of course, it could just be a strange occurrence limited to Busan.”
But it wasn’t.
A week later, Cheon Yo-hwa came to Busan with similar news.
“Teacher, babies are dying.”
“......”
“No, it’s more accurate to say they’re disappearing. They just vanish. Continuously.”
Reports from Busan, Sejong, Pyongyang, Daejeon, southern Seoul, and even the Japanese archipelago all told the same story from every city and village where humans clung to life.
No babies were being born.
No new humans visited the earth anymore.
“......”
“......”
The meeting room of the Regressor Alliance fell into an eerie silence.
Lee Ha-yul, the youngest among us who had knocked on the world’s door most recently, muttered softly, “...Maybe it’s just for this year?”
But it wasn’t.
The same reports came in the following year.
“Busan’s birth rate is zero.”
“Ugh. Not a single baby was born in Sejong either.”
“P-Pyongyang too... None...”
It was a strange phenomenon. There were no unhappy people anymore. Except for the few, like Noh Do-hwa, who deliberately avoided dopamine, everyone was happy.
Human civilization had reached its pinnacle. And at this peak, humanity suddenly exercised a veto on the cycle of life.
Why?
The phenomenon of 'not having children because life is unhappy' had been observed, but the exact opposite, 'no births despite an extremely happy life,' was unprecedented.
However, the cause was clear.
“There’s one thing we can try.”
Everyone in the meeting room turned to look at me.
“This is definitely the work of an anomaly. Something related to dopamine is causing these unborn babies to experience something dreadful.”
Cheon Yo-hwa tilted her head. “But teacher, we’ve observed the fetuses through various means, and they really started to shrink suddenly at the 8-week mark for no apparent reason.”
“Yes. That’s what it looked like from the outside. But it means the anomaly is affecting the inside of the fetus.”
“The inside of the fetus...? What does that mean?”
“Dreams.”
I glanced at one corner of the meeting room. There, Fairy No. 264 was playing with LEGO bricks.
I looked at the anomaly, known as the Baku, and spoke.
“I will personally enter the dreams of newborns to find out which anomaly is kidnapping our future.”
Footnotes:
