I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell
chapter-186

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The Addict III

A birth rate of 0%.

Faced with an unprecedented situation, one that even survivors from South Korea had never witnessed before, the policy I proposed was simple.

- Use the Baku to enter the fetus's dream.

- Exterminate the mysterious monster lurking there.

I prided myself on this being the most practical low birth rate policy ever proposed on the Korean Peninsula, yet even this faced issues right from the first stage.

First, Fairy No. 264, our emergency-appointment low birth rate advisor, expressed her reluctance.

“Hieeek. Comrade Secretary, having a fully grown adult, especially a total stranger, enter a fetus's dream is an incredibly reckless act!”

“...Is it that difficult?”

“Hoeee, of course it is!”

Fairy No. 264, chosen as an expert for the advisory committee, had a look that said, “How can someone not know something so basic?”

“The fetal world is made up only of ‘sounds’! The dual melodies of the mother’s high-pitched tones and the father’s low-pitched tones, the rhythm of the heartbeat, the dissonance of the digestive organs... And the mysterious interplay of light and shadow! Although it’s really just the parents turning the room lights on and off, to the fetus, it’s as if the sun and moon are taking turns in a twilight dance. The touch of water. Smells. The fetus’s world, the fetus’s dream is made up of only these things!”

“There’s almost no visual information.”

“Yes! That’s a big problem!” The revolutionary cadre nodded, speaking the language of the Americans. It suited the situation. “The fetal world consists of 80%— no, more than 90% sound! In contrast, for a fully grown human like you, Comrade Secretary, vision accounts for more than 80% of your sensory importance! This is a difference so significant it could be said you’re almost different species!”

“But it’s a task that must be accomplished. Isn’t there any way?”

“If you want your form to disintegrate into the soundscape of a three-four time beat as soon as you enter the dream, I won’t stop you.”

“Hmm...”

As I was contemplating, Fairy No. 264 added, “Hoeee, but if it’s someone with a voice familiar to the baby, the success rate jumps dramatically. About 3% to 9%?”

“A voice familiar to the baby?”

“If it’s the mother or father, it’s much easier to access the baby’s dream! So if it’s your own child, Comrade Secretary, the success rate doubles!”

Ping!

At that moment, the atmosphere in the conference room changed.

I could sense the shift in the air. Everyone in the meeting was now keenly listening to this conversation.

...I had once promised Oh Dok-seo that I wouldn’t use [Telepathy] again, but this time, it was hard to resist.

I immediately closed one eye and activated ‘Gung Ye Sense.’[1] Ah, I hadn’t mentioned it, but Telepathy worked better when I closed my left eye.

[Cheon Yo-hwa: Wow. That incubus asked the forbidden question everyone was curious about but no one dared to ask...]

[Seo Gyu: I am curious. Hyung is a regressor who has lived through hundreds of cycles, but has he really never had children? Never been married?]

[Dang Seo-rin: I should focus on the taste of this coffee. Yes, it’s delicious.]

[Sword Marquess: Mount Hua numba won.]

[Sim Ah-ryeon: The guild leader's baby must be so cute.]

[Noh Do-hwa: Oh, he closed his eye? That bastard is using Telepathy, isn’t he...?]

I immediately turned off Telepathy and rubbed my left eye as if I were wiping away some dust. Even though Noh Do-hwa was still looking at me suspiciously, I nonchalantly changed the subject.

“Having a child solely for the purpose of eliminating a monster would be disrespectful to the child. Instead, how about this method?”

“Hoeee, what do you mean?”

“Instead of me entering the fetus’s dream, we invite the fetus into my dream. Wouldn’t that be better?”

The fairy jumped in her seat. “Hoek! As expected of Comrade Secretary! That’s indeed a brilliant decision! The success rate would then soar to over 50%!”

Soft sounds of disappointment and irritation echoed quietly around the conference room.

I was a bit tired of it. It seemed that human interest in others' romantic affairs was truly instinctual.

“Alright,” I pressed forward. “Instead of just suddenly inviting the fetus into my dream, let’s decorate my dream to match the fetal environment as closely as possible. As you said, we’ll keep the surroundings dark, have the smell of water, and add natural white noise.”

“Success rate over 90%! Comrade Secretary, you’re a genius...!”

The project outline was set.

Now, we just needed a collaborator, specifically a pregnant mother. This part was resolved quickly.

“Are you saying that some damn monster is trying to kidnap my baby? Of course I’ll help. Just chew that bastard’s limbs to pieces.”

“Yes, Undertaker! Dismember that thing completely!”

“......”

Survivors of the apocalypse were fundamentally tough. Among them, the Busan citizens who watched Dang Seo-rin’s monster dissection show every week were particularly resilient.

We had a total of 49 volunteers.

The choice came down to sounding out the person who had been pregnant the longest. This was done at the fairy's request.

“Hoeee, the fetus’s brain needs to be developed enough to dream!”

It was a valid point. These days, fetuses stopped developing at 8 weeks, and disappeared completely between 10 to 30 weeks.

The final candidate was at 25 weeks, yet by all appearances, there were no noticeable differences to before her pregnancy, and her belly wasn’t protruding at all. It wouldn’t have been surprising if the baby had been kidnapped already, and the mother’s anger and anxiety towards the monster were just as urgent.

There was another reason behind choosing her.

“If my baby is born, I plan to name her Seo-ah.”

Jeong Seo-ah.

I wonder if you remember. In a very old, bygone cycle, there was a little apprentice chef who personally fed me sugar donuts on Haeundae Beach. In each cycle, Jeong Seo-ah’s personality and appearance were slightly different. Even the gender varied. But their identity as a bakery kid remained the same.

Yes. I know that this ‘Jeong Seo-ah’ and the ‘Jeong Seo-ah’ to be born in this cycle will be similar yet different. But what does it matter? Every child carves out their own life in the gap between an adult’s knowledge and the unknown.

I didn’t want to see this child being kidnapped by a monster.

“Now, sit side by side! We need to sing a lullaby to properly enter the dream!”

The preparations were complete.

Thirty-six fairies formed a circle and held hands. I held the fairy’s hand with my right hand, and the mother’s with my left.

Then the fairies began to sing in unison.

Mom is going to the island shade ♪

To pick some necks ♪

The baby is left alone— to poop ♪

“......”

Were you still going to insist that this nonsensical song was a lullaby?

Just as my sense of disbelief disappeared, my consciousness suddenly sank to the floor.

We had already agreed not to descend into too deep of an unconscious state.

As everyone knows, the basement is now the territory of 'She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.'

To put it simply, the ‘pink entity’s’ unconscious world was at the 13th underground level. This time, the unconscious level I descended to was at most the 2nd underground level.

- Thump.

Even that level, however, was enough to decorate the interior by mimicking the fetal senses.

- Thump. Thump. Thump.

There was only darkness.

But it was not a silent darkness, nor was it a dry, black background. The darkness was sound.

The world was quietly growling.

To humans, the heart was never just a visual diagram but a sound, echoing softly like a wave in water.

“I can’t see anything.”

“Well, the baby has never seen anything, so it’s natural! To a baby, seeing the world with eyes closed is everything there is to see.”

“No wonder prophets in myths are depicted as blind. To experience the primordial world, you must discern through sound.”

“Shh. The baby is here!”

Holding my left hand, the fairy pointed to a part of the darkness.

I saw it.

- ......

My senses reinterpreted the ‘world the baby was experiencing’ as visual information. And it was astonishing.

“That’s... just water?”

Water was floating and wriggling in the middle of the darkness.

There were no visible limbs. No head. There was something long and tentacle-like squirming in the water... Was it the umbilical cord?

No matter how you looked at it, it was more like an Undine wannabe than a human.

“Yes. It’s water?”

“...No. Where’s the calmly curled-up baby, and why is there a water elemental slime instead?”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Comrade Secretary, that’s an adult’s perspective.”

This brat was really asking for a flick on the forehead.

“Adults separate the fetus and amniotic fluid, thinking this is human and that is liquid, but from the fetus’s perspective, the amniotic fluid is just another part of its body! It’s been with them since birth, so it’s only natural!”

“Ah.”

“Human scholars interpret the pain babies experience during birth as merely the separation of the umbilical cord, the separation from the mother. But fundamentally, it’s closer to the loss of 'water,' thus losing a part of their most basic 'skin.' Mammals, in essence, are terrifying creatures that have their skin peeled off completely when they are born...”

The fairy shivered.

‘Quite an interesting perspective.’

So, a significant part of the pain humans experience at birth is due to the 'loss of water,' or the 'loss of their body.' In other words, babies who were originally 'water spirits' are forcibly turned into 'humans.'

There was no time to dwell on this anthropological notion now, though

“Comrade Secretary! The monster is appearing!”

The culprit behind the zero birth rate era on the Korean Peninsula had appeared.

Step, step—

The monster walked gracefully from the other side of the darkness. When I saw the monster's form, my eyes widened in shock.

Jeong Seo-ah.

A monster, eerily resembling the grown-up version of the fetus Jeong Seo-ah would eventually become, was approaching the fetus.

- Sigh. Yesterday was hard too.

Plop.

The 'grown-up Jeong Seo-ah' sat down beside the ‘unborn Jeong Seo-ah.’

- You know, mommy seems to have finally heard the news. That if things continue like this, I might never be born.

- ......

The monster, mimicking Jeong Seo-ah’s appearance, whispered to the fetus in a bizarre voice and tone.

- Our daddy died last month while out in the Void, didn’t he? So mommy thinks I’m the only trace daddy left behind. But now, knowing I might disappear too, it’s causing her immense pain. She overdosed on dopamine again.

- ......

- It’s not just mommy. Daddy was baking dopamine rice pizza every day until the day before he disappeared. Uncle too. Auntie too. Great-uncle and great-auntie also need to be counted. Thanks to that damn dopamine, they lived healthily and happily until their deaths.

- ......

- So... now it’s my turn?

Splash.

The monster that looked like Jeong Seo-ah dipped her hand into the amniotic fluid.

Then, an ominous ‘black color’ that was different from the serene darkness of this dream world began to taint the fetus's amniotic fluid.

- ...! ...!

The amniotic fluid turned pitch black.

Unable to scream, the fetus—the being of water—could only express its agony by violently disturbing the surface.

‘Ah.’

At that moment, I understood the true nature of dopamine. How it managed to keep making people happy without any side effects up until now.

The side effects hadn’t disappeared. Misfortune hadn’t vanished. The side effects and misfortune were simply transferred and postponed onto ‘someone else.’

Namely, the unborn children.

In other words, they went to the ‘next generation’ that shared the same bloodline.

Footnotes:

[1] Gung Ye was a historical figure who lost one eye as a baby and grew up to be a king of the Later Three Kingdoms period of Korea. He also claimed to have the mysterious power of mind-reading, which he used to have his political advisors and adversaries executed.