The Abandoned Empress
chapter-118

My eyes welled with tears at her touching voice. She turned me back and gave me a small box hesitantly. She looked at me blankly, urging me to receive it quickly.

It was a light green box with a green ribbon. There was a colored hair tie in the box.

“This…. ”

“I was wondering if there was anything I could give you as you set out on a long journey. As you tie your hair all the time, I thought you might need it. ”

Touched by her warm consideration, I reached out to her in spite of myself. The moment I tried to pull her small, soft body to me and hug her, I stopped. My reason ordered me not to get close to her, warning me that she and I would have a hard time if I did.

I withdrew my hands in a hurry. I took my eyes off her as she looked away with an awkward expression and looked back at the hair tie. I had a lump in my throat when I saw my initials embroidered at the edge of the tie.

‘I tried to kill you with this, but you gave me this out of so many other things, and that with my name embroidered beautifully.’

Suddenly, I wanted to tell her everything honestly, such as the darkness and madness that boiled inside me, my crooked affection for her, the past days when I tried to ruin her life and my murderous intent, for she had the right to know. I was afraid that she might look at me critically, but I thought I should tell the truth even now, because she wouldn’t know if I didn’t tell her now.

“Tia.”

“Huh?” Tia was still looking at me with trust.

I hesitated for a while, but I didn’t have the nerve to confide in her.

‘I don’t want to be hated by you. I don’t want to betray your pure trust in me. Even if I am remembered as a crazy person and a bad guy to others, I want to be remembered as a warm and friendly man in your memory.

‘Forgive me, Tia. Forgive me for deceiving you to the end out of my selfishness, my lady. ‘

When I refused to reply when she repeatedly asked me if I would come back, she turned helplessly, and I felt heartbroken.

“Hey, Allendis, what’s going on?” said Carsein.

“Why are you here?”

“I heard you’re going as a member of the delegation to the Lua kingdom. You also resigned, right? ”

“Yes.”

“Were you dumped?”

The day the delegation departed, I was busy packing my stuff when Carsein stormed my office and cut to the chase.

‘Man, he has smelled a rat already?’ I turned with a frown.

“Dang it. I hated you from the beginning because you caught on quick from the beginning.”

“Tut, tut. Hey, Allendis, how can you be so stupid when they call you the genius of the century? How can you propose to her at this time? Nothing comes out if you do it this time.”

Clicking his tongue, he tapped my shoulders gently as if he comforted me.

I was agonized over whether I should thank him for his empty words, but at the moment, he was smiling sarcastically. Obviously, he would be happy without me as he also knew I was interested in Tia.

‘Damn it. You are so happy because one of your rivals is out, right?’

“Hey, Carsein?”

“Why?”

“You don’t have to be happy. You will grow nervous as time goes on. If you stand looking at her like that, you will be sticking around her all your life.”

“Well, I am not like you, stupid man. I’m more like an intuitive hunter. ”

I giggled when he confidently spoke.

‘I was going to visit you once, so it’s good you came to see me, Carsein.’

I threw something at him, which I had prepared in advance. Stunned by a long sword thrown at him, Carsein barely caught it and said angrily, “What the heck are you doing, Allendis? Are you asking for a duel?”

“No, take it.”

“What?”

“I don’t think I need it anymore.”

“You bastard…” Carsein, suddenly frowning, walked toward me quickly and grabbed me by the collar. Staring at his frowning face, I agonized for a moment about whether I should hit him in his crumpled face or not. Should I hit him one or not? I was carrying a lot of emotional baggage toward him.

“Hey, Allendis.”

“You had better forget this. Listen to me, okay?Don’t ever say you’re going to give up your life because I kicked your ass out of the running, got it?”

“How stupid, Carsein! I am not planning to give up my life. How could I be killed by a guy like you?”

“Shut up. Even if you’re crazy, I have recognized you as my rival. So, if you give up like this, I won’t forgive you forever. Got it? When you come back, let’s have a duel fairly. ”

Carsein’s blue eyes were sparkling. After staring at him for a moment, I twisted his hands and disengaged from him. Then I adjusted my crumpled clothes and turned.

Now it was time for the delegation to depart.

“Please take care of Tia well.”

“You don’t have a reply, dude?”

“Care for her well. She is tender-hearted although she looks strong.”

“Are you crazy?”

I left the angry Carsein behind and went out, carrying my package.

‘Goodbye, Carsein! I thought I would have lots of annoyances with you, but looking back, I was sometimes happy because of you. I think you can take care of my lady. Please protect her well on my behalf. Don’t make her cry like me. Please cherish her, my tender-hearted lady.’

“Thanks for your hard work, Allen.”

“You’re welcome , Duke Lars. I hope you can return safely. ”

“Are you sure you’re not going back with us, Allendis?”

“Yes, princess. I want to stay here more and look around. If anybody inquires after me, please tell them so. ”

Unlike the empire, the air, mountain streams and the environment of the Lua kingdom were all unfamiliar to me. I did my best here. As my job involved the conclusion of an agreement between allies, it was not that tough, but I had to negotiate and gather intelligence everyday to make the most out of the negotiation.

It was fun, though it was my first time negotiating with a foreign kingdom. I was happy not because I worked to get a promotion, destroy somebody or plot, but because I could put my abilities to work.

I watched Princess Frincia and Sir Lars gradually love each other and have a happy wedding. Finally, the day came when the delegation would return to the empire.

Since I decided that I would never go back from the moment I left the empire, I refused their offer to return.

The border areas were naturally formed by tall mountains. When I said goodbye to them, I was left alone in the kingdom.

I climbed a steep mountain and stood on the cliff. Far away I could see the territory of the empire. My lovely girl is alive and breathing somewhere over there.

‘How are you doing, Tia? I miss you, my dear lady. ‘

Only

I searched through the luggage I had brought when I left the empire. There was a small vial hidden in the corner. I kept it because I thought I might feel good if I drank it all and forgot everything, but I couldn’t drink it for fear I might cause trouble to the delegation.

I threw the vial down the cliff. Now, I won’t need this. If I just walk a few steps forward, everything will be over.

“Whew!”

I took a deep breath.

Suddenly, I recalled Tia’s face that I saw before I left the empire. Even though she asked me several times with a tearful voice if I would come back, I couldn’t reply. I also recalled the kitten Tia that hung on to me, wiggling its tail. When I asked Tia what name she gave the kitten, she said she gave the name Luna.

I realized clearly that my lady was a moon. She was a silver moon that could shine only when it got the sunlight. I, who was the darkness wanted the moonlight, hoped to become the shining star in the moonlight, but I ended up being the shadow of the moon. A shadow chasing the moon.

‘I loved you, Tia. And I still love you, my lady. ‘

I longed for your light. I wanted to be with you