The Abandoned Empress
chapter-119

But you are the moon, I am the shadow chasing the moon. The day when I can stand by your side will never come. I don’t want to live that kind of life anymore. I loved you who gave me the only light in my life which was so burdensome, but the shadow that was locked in the deep darkness by that light is about to end its life. You have to be happy, Tia. You have to live a shining life like the moon that everyone looks up to. Let me carry the darkness you wanted to get away from and the shadow you wanted to shake off.

I slowly walked toward the cliff and finally stood at the edge of it. If I take one more step forward, my bitterness, empty heart, pain, sadness would all disappear. If the fairy tale I read as a child is correct, I might become a star as I’ve been hoping, and watch over my girl.

The moment I took a deep breath and lifted my right foot from the ground, I saw the bag I was holding being blown by a strong wind. The light green box that I kept in it previously was turned upside down, and the colored hair ties were scattered by the wind.

I instinctively reached out and grabbed one of the flying hair bands. When I looked at it in my hand, my eyes popped open.

“…! ”

Dela flowers were embroidered on the hair tie whose inside was visible because its seam was torn.

‘What happened? This is the one I gave to Tia! ‘

I turned it over with a trembling hand. Everything in the box was blown away, and the only one left was a green hair band. No matter how carefully I looked at it, it was the one I gave her as a gift to my lady. Besides, it was the same one with which I tried to wind around Tia’s neck on the day I was crazy. Yes, it was the same hair band.

‘Oh my, Tia. Did you give it back after embroidering over it?’ As the last resort I gave you a pair of it in the hope that our love could come true. If then, did you pull out one of those two strings and embroider my initials there?

“Hahaha.” Suddenly, I broke into laughter.

‘It really sounds like you, Tia.’

Obviously, you didn’t even know the meaning of this hair band or why I gave you a pair.

Just like you said, you probably gave me this gift for my long journey with a pure heart. As you had two, you thought you could give me one of them. And you decided to embroider my initials on it because you felt awkward about giving it back as it was.

‘But Tia, do you know the myth that if you embroider a lover’s name on Dela flowers, you will be bonded with that man forever?’

It’s okay if you regard it as superstitious. Because you embroidered my own name without yours, I would love only half of you forever, according to the myth, missing you and longing for you.

That’s fine with me, Tia, because you embroidered my name.

Even if you don’t accept my love, I understand that you appreciated my wishes to get your love. Let me assume you have allowed me to continue to love you.

Thanks, Tia. Even if you said you wanted to shake off the shadow, thanks for allowing this shabby shadow to keep chasing you. Thanks so much, my lady, for not denying this shadow. This shadow tried to end his life because he thought he was abandoned by the owner.

I sincerely thank you for recognizing the existence of the shadow. I’m happy that I can continue to chase you.

‘I think I can answer your last question now, Tia.’

Okay. Someday, I’ll go back to you when I can get out of the darkness trying to swallow me.

I promise that I’ll come back to you someday. If I can become a shadow that can love you as you are, when the day comes when the shadow that follows the moon dares not think of swallowing it, then I will definitely go back to you.

‘So, you have to be doing well until then, my lady.’

My moonlight, my love, my lady shining brightly. Please be happy until the day we meet again.

I could hardly breathe in the scorching heat. I was sweaty on my back. Whenever my hair that was tied up in a knot touched the back of my neck, I felt sweltering heat.

I raised my arms and looked down at the jacket covering the back of my hands. When I saw the hot black cloth of my uniform, I sighed in spite of myself.

‘Oh, it’s so hot. I feel even hotter seeing this.’

It was already half a year from the day the delegation including Allendis and Sir Lars left for the Lua kingdom. In the meantime, the season changed twice and spring came back. Before I came back from the past, I had never felt this before, but this year the weather was really strange.

Last winter was unusually warm, and it’s very hot even though it was only five months into the New Year.

‘What will I do in midsummer if it’s already hot like this?’

When I raised my head after wiping sweat on my forehead, I saw the roof of the Central Palace shining brightly under the hot sun as well as the sturdy wall of the inner palace and the blue flag embroidered with the silver shields fluttering above it.

Knights of the 1st Knights, including me, lined up in column and in line at the entrance to the huge wall. The flags held high by the riders who stood in the middle of them were embroidered with four crossed spears. Everyone fixed their gaze on Deputy Captain Earl Fleck, who was enthusiastically explaining something.

“… This is our mission. Do you understand? ”

“Yes, sir! We got it!

“Good. The squad that makes the greatest contribution will be given a corresponding reward, so do your best in your training.”

When he issued an order, Eral Fleck shouted, drawing his sword, “Let’s go, Castina’s spear! There is nothing you cannot break through! ”

“Yaah!”

Knights in line were yelling at once, drawing their swords. I let out a sigh, looking at them.

‘Is it really possible?’

Today was the first day of the fifth month in 963 by the imperial calendar. They had mock combat drills every two years. It took almost two weeks for them to prepare for the drills, and one whole day to think about the strategy. However, the proposal I made at the strategic meeting was ignored.

‘I proposed the idea after careful deliberation, but was it so academic that everybody shook their heads?’ I asked myself.

“Everybody, clear for action!”

Looking aside, I saw Carsein and eight other knights. When he met my eyes, Carsein smiled.

I felt refreshed, smiling at him, too. Fortunately, I was in the same squad as him.

The mock battle was one of the regular training drills of the knights. Two knights groups were divided into an offensive team and a defensive team, with each team aiming to capture or defend the Imperial Palace. This time the 1st Knight I belonged to participated in the drills as the offensive team. In order to win, we had to capture the inner palace in half a day and rescue Duke Lars held captive in the Della Palace.

“Attack!”

“Yaah!”

Knights at the forefront of the 1st Knights Division including my squad, ran forward.

This year’s training was simplified due to the sweltering heat, so it was somewhat different from the full-fledged battle plan. Therefore, the gate of the inner palace was already open, and only the swords, shields, bows, and portable weapons were provided to both knights.

Only

“Run! Run faster! ”

“Soon, you guys will be in range of their bows! Be careful, everyone! ”

I lifted the shield, feeling regret that I could not ride on horseback. More than a hundred arrows flew over the heads of the knights running ahead, shielding themselves with shields like me. The bows were loaded with blunt cloth of yellow dye instead of pointed arrowheads.

“Ugh, damn it!”

“Those hit by arrows step back!”

As those with their black uniforms hit by arrows stepped back one by one, the knights at the first row who entered the gate safely began to fight with the knights of the 2nd Knights Division who were blocking the entrance. Arrows flying from the wall knocked down the number of our allies who could advance against the enemy desperately blocking the gate.

Looking at our knights blocking the arrows with shields, I drew my brows together.

‘They will be in trouble if they can’t advance quickly.’